But I don’t want to!!! 

What do you do when you know something is right, but that means you have to do something you don’t want to?

Last week hubby and I were having a little disagreement, it was really silly, like most arguments it had started from nothing, we were arguing the same point but from our own perspectives, the devil had a field day with finger pointing and accusations. I had taken something that hubby had said and listened to that negative voice and turned it into something it just wasn’t, I was being defensive and very angry!

The trouble was I thought I was right, and I had no need whatsoever to apologise when in actual fact I was wrong! I wasn’t wrong because the point I had raised was wrong, I was wrong because I’d let into the enemy and lost my self-control, I had lost the ability to look at what my husband was saying from his perspective and as a result I was sitting in my room with a face like the little girl in the picture above!

I love how kind, forgiving and nurturing God is in these situations, I prayed about it and my prayer went something like:

Lord, Please let him see how unreasonable he is being, I can’t believe he thinks I need to do more, how much more can I do?! Please tell him to stop being so bossy…. blah blah blah.

Following my prayer I had a chapter of the Bible come to mind, Proverbs 21,

1- In the Lord’s hand, the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels to all that please him.

2 – A person may think that their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart.

3 – To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

4 – Haughty eyes and a proud hear – the unplowed fields of the wicked – produce sin.

5- The plans of the dilligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.

I’m thinking here, yes Lord, this is exactly what I am trying to say! You know I’m right and you are confirming to me that I am! Then ………. my eyes jumped forward a couple of verses to 9:

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

See, we were both right in our own minds, we both see things differently, He made us both unique to our purpose, life would be pretty boring if we were, all the same, wouldn’t it?

God wants us both to take our views and work together in harmony, Colossians 2:2 says;

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ.

We have the strength to do this by His Grace, through His Spirit we can walk the way He asks us to, but of course, this does mean that we must deny ourselves, reserve our judgements and trust His course of action, which at this time meant that I was to get up and go downstairs to apologise for losing my patience, being quick to anger and not using my self-control! Thankfully, we had a visitor which meant there was time to calm down, relax and take some time before I approached the dreaded task! Once I was willing God started to intervene and His Grace meant that this task would be a little less daunting, He always works things out for our good.

Our visitor left and I made us some lunch ready to sit down again and discuss things like adults, as it happened by God’s mercy for my willing heart He had also been doing a work in hubby, he also felt he should apologise, so we both said our “sorry” kissed and made up, then went on to discuss our business in a fashion that pleases God, which I am pleased to say worked out all around and we are back on track.

Will we argue about it again? Of course we will, but God will again patiently work through with us what to do in order to put things right, He is patient, He is loving, He wants the best for His children and He will do this 7 x 7 times, meaning to infinity because He wants us to live life in abundance, with His peace, His joy to radiate love to one another.

 

 

 

 

Open Doors

How do we know when or if to walk through a door of opportunity?


How do we know when or if to walk through a door of opportunity?

When I first came to know Jesus I had many plans, mainly for myself I admit, I was going to build a huge marketing agency and earn lots of money, well it wasn’t quite that shallow but all the same I had BIG plans.

I was stopped completely in my tracks by the Lord and I entered a period of stillness, at the time I thought this was laziness, all of my creative faculties started to shut down and I found that I couldn’t think, all I could do was turn to the word God and discover.

I soon started to discover Who I was, Why I was here, and What I needed to do, BUT, I had no idea how that fitted into my previous plans. So there I was, still wandering in the wilderness with no direction, no inspiration and no creativity.

I wasn’t listening! God asked me to start to delve into my old plans and compare them to the discoveries I had made about WHO He said I was, WHY I was here and WHAT I was sent to do.

I soon discovered a pattern, a very unique pattern. It was unique because this pattern was displayed in all I had done my whole life, from a tender age of nursery school right up to this present point in my life. Those business plans I had were NOT about making myself money, they were about helping others to achieve their goals, from the customers I served to the staff I had planned to employ, each element was about other people and how I could help them to achieve what they wanted.

Proverbs 16:9, tells us that In our hearts we plan our course, but the Lord establishes the steps.

No wonder there was a pattern, it wasn’t the actual industry, job, or physical task that would be my calling, it’s what that physical thing would enable me to do in the name of Jesus. I was sent to encourage, inspire and teach people that through Christ we can achieve all things!

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.- Proverbs 37:4

Once I discovered this I soon started to recognise doors that began to open, not just in my business but at home, in my marriage, in my husband’s business, at church, with my friends, even this blog. I just had to be courageous enough to step out and say what I knew God wanted me to say or do what He wanted me to do.We just have to be bold enough and brave enough to walk through that open door.

Receiving this courage comes from renewing our minds with His Word, it’s there to give us confidence that in Him all things are possible. He tells us in John 10:10 I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. He doesn’t want us to be miserable!

1 Corinthians 16:9 because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.

The words above from Paul tell us that it won’t be a smooth ride, but irrespective of the opposition he faced, he continued to move on, continued to walk with God and live out what he knew in confidence the Lord wanted him to do.

Since these revelations, I’ve been so much more comfortable in my life with making decisions, and when I make those that are aligned with God’s will he confirms I’m on the right track with His wonderful favour, I feel peaceful and joyful inside and I have a consistent smile on my face. Life is just easier with God’s word in it. Life is just easier with God in it!

My prayer today is that anyone that may be struggling with their calling in life, or recognising God’s open doors, that they feel the spirit of God fall upon them to inspire action.

I pray, Father that each and every person that is questioning a decision right now, that they feel your presence, they hear your voice and you give them courage and confidence in you and your word.

I ask you, Father, to reveal to them their calling in life, give them desires in their hearts that won’t let go until they act upon them, and when they do Lord I ask for fulfilment, comfort and peace to outpour into their spirit.

Lord I pray that they seek your will and glorify your name by living a life filled with abundant joy.

In Jesus name, Amen.

 

 

 

 

Why do you have faith?

Someone once asked me how I can believe in God when the world is so messed up, this is why I do!

One of my characteristics is positivity,  I’m always looking on the bright side of life and I love to encourage others when I’m around someone that’s negative it has a tendency to frustrate me!

One day a conversation arose with a lady who was struggling one day to understand death and morbidity in the world, she said to me “If God so loves us, why do we have to see all this pain and suffering in the world?”

My answer to that is simple. 

We have faith, we believe in the unseen, we know that we are loved and made with great purpose despite what is going on in the world around us. The Bible tells us we are in the world not of the world, Jesus told us it wouldn’t be easy, but what is promised to us is eternal life, not only that, John 10:10 tells us he came so that we might live a life of abundance and joy, choosing to love Jesus and accept His gift of peace despite the outward circumstances helps me to deal with anything that the world throws at me.

God so loved the world that He gave! Jesus went to the cross for our sin, He didn’t just die, He was tortured, and He took the burden of all of our sin, how can I repay Him for that sacrifice?

Well, I can repay Him by accepting this gift. You wouldn’t receive a birthday present and leave it in it’s pretty wrapping paper, would you?

I’m going to take this gift with both hands, live my life boldly, courageously and tell everyone the good news, no matter what is happening in the world, having the peace of Jesus will pull us through it, and I don’t care who thinks I’m bonkers, hopefully, the way I live my life will help them to see just how much they need Jesus in theirs!

 

Walking in alignment with God.

Over the last six to seven months, many things have been manifesting in our family life, things that have been a real challenge, we had some big decisions to make, and if I’m honest I could have quite happily remained paralysed on occasions, stuck in the same old, the fear was just too much to face.

walking-inOver the last six to seven months, many things have been manifesting in our family life, things that have been a real challenge, we had some big decisions to make, and if I’m honest I could have quite happily remained paralysed on occasions, stuck in the same old, the fear was just too much to face.

Lucky for us we have a God that will deal with our fears head on when we seek His perfect Will for our lives.

Knowing there were changes to make we started to pray over the situations causing the challenges, we prayed long and hard for what seemed like forever! There were times I thought God wasn’t listening, there were times I thought He didn’t like me much, there were many moments I prayed with what my mom might call attitude, you know the stance – when your arms are folded, your bottom lip is sticking out and you have that tone in voice, the tone that says, I know you don’t want to answer my prayer and I know it’s for my own good but all the same I’m asking anyway, with an eye roll and a big TUT at the end?!

Despite sometimes wanting to give up we continued.

After around 5 months, we started to get answers, albeit they weren’t the ones we thought we would get. These answers were going to push us out of our comfort zone and were to have us confront fears we had carried with us most of our lives. In actual fact these answers had been there for some time, we just didn’t think they were from God, they seemed to make perfect sense but we thought they were of the flesh not of God. He was showing us that we had done the right thing and He wanted the best for us, He loved us and wanted us to flourish for the glory of His Kingdom.

I thought that a lot of the complications we had were a result of our own flesh and bad attitude, I thought that I had a hardened heart and it was my actions causing all of this discomfort. As a result, I was asking God to help me to change, when in actual fact what God wanted to do was to change the situation for us. Although this wasn’t going to be easy. It meant we had to do some things that would cause some discomfort, face our fears and be courageous.

One of the problems I’ve always had is thinking badly of myself, always blaming myself for things that go wrong, never really giving myself a break. Thankfully God doesn’t want that, he wants us to love ourselves just as he loves us. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, in His image, for a very unique purpose to bring glory to His Kingdom. This, in turn, gives us the ability to love others with His wonderful love and encouragement, and when we really seek His will for our lives He uncovers some miraculous things for our future, things we least expect – But, we have to action them.

Even though this time was tough and I could have quite easily turned my back on God, buried my head in the sand and left myself wide open for the enemy to take control, I chose to take back His territory and declare that in Jesus name I would walk on – No matter what!

Things can be hard, but as long as we continue to lean on our Father and rely not upon our own understanding all things will come together for good, no matter how awful it may seem we must trust him in all we do.

I’m very happy to report that is all now behind us and these situations are now testimonies we can use to encourage others as well as ourselves, we can hold on to them for the rest of our days and remind ourselves when struggles arise that He came through and took control, showed us what to do, and in our obedience, He has richly blessed us with many things to confirm we did the right thing.

Thank you, Lord, for your wonderful patience and understanding, Father, thank you, that despite our not listening, You always persevere and show us in your loving gentle way that all will be ok. Thank you, for always being there, and preparing the way for us despite our shortcomings and our disobedience, Lord thank you, for always waiting with your arms wide open for us to arrive, no matter how long that may take. In Jesus name, I pray that we will forever be aligned to your perfect will. Amen.

Why Am I Here?

why-am-i-here

We were given the following commandments in Matthew 22: 37-40

37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’e 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’f 40The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

When I was saved my first issue was, I didn’t love myself at all. I detested myself, I loathed myself, I was angry, bitter, jealous, impatient, just to mention but a few inequalities.

Thankfully, the good news is, Jesus knows! And he loves me regardless, He wants to clear all this muck out and make me into the person He created me to be.

Jesus gave His life so that I might become a new spirit, saved from sin by His pure and righteous blood. Someone once told me that when our Heavenly Father looks down to us, he sees Jesus once we are saved, how wonderful is that?

I think that it’s a natural reflex to loathe what the world manifests into you, as His faithful Word tells us, we are in the world, NOT of the world.

I believe that before we embark on the road to discovery of our precious saviour we are all seeking something. Longing to know what we were put here for, why were we created? What is our purpose? Is there more to life than this? Are all questions most, if not all of us, have asked at some point in our lives.

That’s it right there. The big hole, screaming inside of us to be filled.

Each and every one of us has a big God-shaped hole inside of us, longing to know what we were placed on this earth for and the answer is in The Word Of God!

 

 

Daddy Can You Hear Me?

When I came to know Jesus, I journaled a lot and reflected on my life up to that point, I wondered where He had been and saw all the times He was calling me. I wrote this poem to kind of summarise my conclusion.

Daddy, can you hear me?

I call out, Can you hear my shout?

Lift me up on to your lap,

Free me from this trap!

 

Wrap Your arms tightly round,

I want to hear Your sound.

I want to please,

live a lifetime of ease,

Do all that you ask.

 

 “I can’t hear you!”

 

I do what I want,

No care or revere, 

Where are you? 

Are you even here?!

 

Mom and Dad, they were good,

I’m always in the way,

Making things difficult,

and going astray.

 

On a long nasty road,

addiction and theft,

Bullying, Emotion,

Self-sabotage and destruction!

 

“Can you hear me?!”

 

Daddy, you spoke! If only to provoke, the spirit inside of me.

Loving on those in a vulnerable state,

Finally, a job I didn’t hate,

You blessed me.


You poured out your blessing,

A brand-new beginning,

A home filled with love,

They went beyond and above,

A Family!

“I can see you!”

I Destroyed it again,

Evil prevailed.

I turned the wrong way,

To darkness…dismay!

 

Cold and alone,

in a pool of bile,

feeling helpless and vile,

I drank the first thing I could reach,

it was bleach.

Where are you?”

 

You saved me again but I still felt this pain.


“Can you hear me?”

I found love in this man,

his soul just as lost,

We lived together with his son but at what cost?

Drinking and violence,

I couldn’t cope with the silence,

Your strength came upon me to walk away.

 

You gave me independence,

my own home and recompense,

all those dark years washed away.

 

Freedom and fun,

I found another one,

he was perfect and sweet.

It ended too soon,

Left just me, it wasn’t to be.

“Can you hear me?

Along came another as lost as me,

a destructive, weak soul

with no life or goal,

drinking and sadness,

which turned into madness.

 

“Where are you? Help me!”


Your goodness shone through,

Strength came and I flew,

Into a life of success and joy!

A soul mate you sent,

To strengthen each other.

You were there all along,

Perfectly undercover.

 

When You saw fit,

You gave us a gift,

A beautiful baby boy.

A few months went by,

And now it was time,

To add to our family again.

 

A time of reflection,

And seeking perfection,

We discovered Your perfect love.

We always did wonder,

Who created the thunder,

and the storms of life that we had seen.

 

You lifted me up,

On to your lap,

Untangled the trap,

And showed me.

 

The purpose you gave,

Ridden of shame,

No longer slaves,

Perfectly made,

You showed us we could,

A love so perfect and good,

Freed from fear with a God to revere!

 

YOU HEARD ME!