But I don’t want to!!! 

What do you do when you know something is right, but that means you have to do something you don’t want to?

Last week hubby and I were having a little disagreement, it was really silly, like most arguments it had started from nothing, we were arguing the same point but from our own perspectives, the devil had a field day with finger pointing and accusations. I had taken something that hubby had said and listened to that negative voice and turned it into something it just wasn’t, I was being defensive and very angry!

The trouble was I thought I was right, and I had no need whatsoever to apologise when in actual fact I was wrong! I wasn’t wrong because the point I had raised was wrong, I was wrong because I’d let into the enemy and lost my self-control, I had lost the ability to look at what my husband was saying from his perspective and as a result I was sitting in my room with a face like the little girl in the picture above!

I love how kind, forgiving and nurturing God is in these situations, I prayed about it and my prayer went something like:

Lord, Please let him see how unreasonable he is being, I can’t believe he thinks I need to do more, how much more can I do?! Please tell him to stop being so bossy…. blah blah blah.

Following my prayer I had a chapter of the Bible come to mind, Proverbs 21,

1- In the Lord’s hand, the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels to all that please him.

2 – A person may think that their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart.

3 – To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

4 – Haughty eyes and a proud hear – the unplowed fields of the wicked – produce sin.

5- The plans of the dilligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.

I’m thinking here, yes Lord, this is exactly what I am trying to say! You know I’m right and you are confirming to me that I am! Then ………. my eyes jumped forward a couple of verses to 9:

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

See, we were both right in our own minds, we both see things differently, He made us both unique to our purpose, life would be pretty boring if we were, all the same, wouldn’t it?

God wants us both to take our views and work together in harmony, Colossians 2:2 says;

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ.

We have the strength to do this by His Grace, through His Spirit we can walk the way He asks us to, but of course, this does mean that we must deny ourselves, reserve our judgements and trust His course of action, which at this time meant that I was to get up and go downstairs to apologise for losing my patience, being quick to anger and not using my self-control! Thankfully, we had a visitor which meant there was time to calm down, relax and take some time before I approached the dreaded task! Once I was willing God started to intervene and His Grace meant that this task would be a little less daunting, He always works things out for our good.

Our visitor left and I made us some lunch ready to sit down again and discuss things like adults, as it happened by God’s mercy for my willing heart He had also been doing a work in hubby, he also felt he should apologise, so we both said our “sorry” kissed and made up, then went on to discuss our business in a fashion that pleases God, which I am pleased to say worked out all around and we are back on track.

Will we argue about it again? Of course we will, but God will again patiently work through with us what to do in order to put things right, He is patient, He is loving, He wants the best for His children and He will do this 7 x 7 times, meaning to infinity because He wants us to live life in abundance, with His peace, His joy to radiate love to one another.

 

 

 

 

It’s not a tick box exercise.

I was writing out my to-do list, adding little ticks next to the ones I had done, it made me feel quite good and got carried away, I was about to add to it Bible reading and prayer time, when I heard the Lord say to me “it’s not a tick box exercise”.

How many of us do this? Wake up and speak to the Lord as an exercise that just has to be done,  like cleaning the bathroom or making packed lunches for the kids. Each day is made up of small blocks of time along with a matching task list, we can quite easily slot God into that tick box exercise, that we are doing out of duty.

The fact is, it is not a duty, it’s a true honour. Spending time with God should be something I look forward to, like when I met my husband, my first love, getting butterflies in my tummy, an expectancy that I just can’t wait for, hanging on the every word, a pamper time but for my mind. Psalm 37:4 tells us to take delight in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts. Wow! He does too, many a time I have been completely bowled over with what He has done in my life….. Even the small things, for example:

Last week I was preparing food for a party which quite frankly should by rights have stressed me right out, thankfully I leaned upon the Lord and said: “God, I can not do this on my own, you have got to help me!” A British buffet really isn’t a buffet without good old cheese and pineapple sticks. So there I was 9pm on a Friday night jabbing cubes of cheese and pineapple with cocktail sticks. When I got to the bottom of the last tin of pineapple chunks, I looked down to see just 2 pieces left and there on the chopping my board were 2 beautiful equal chunks of cheese!! I was totally in awe that Jesus cared so much about this party He even gave me equal pineapple chunks for my cheese……I know you have just read that and thought I’m crazy, but let me give you some context.

When I got to the bottom of the last tin of pineapple chunks, I looked down to see just 2 pieces left and there on the chopping my board were 2 beautiful equal chunks of cheese. If there had of been an odd number that would have annoyed me, I’m a bit OCD like that! I was totally in awe that Jesus cared so much about this party He even gave me equal pineapple chunks for my cheese……I know you have just read that and thought I’m crazy, but let me give you some context.

This party was a last minute decision, it was a surprise for a beautiful friend of mine, I had been in prayer a few weeks earlier and really felt on my heart to do this for her, the thing was there wasn’t really anyone available to help me organise it, so in the natural it should have been a complete burden. But, because I had bought it before the Lord and asked Him to intervene everything went wonderfully, and this was His way of showing me He was in it all. It was the confirmation that I needed to say everything was going to be ok, the food would be plentiful, the guests would turn up, and my friend would enjoy.

I delighted myself in Him, gave Him praise and was in wonder at His beautiful work, the party went smoothly, an enjoyable night had by all, the people turned up, my friend was totally surprised, cried tears of joy, the food went well, and I didn’t melt down at all, all because I went to the Lord with a humble heart and told Him exactly what I needed, He loves to answer our prayers, the little things are the things that are the most special to me, I pray that I never go a day and miss where He is at.

Disaster 

I was born into a home that was loving, kind and caring. My Dad had his own business and my Mom was a secretary for a local business, we had a good life, even when Dad lost the business he managed to find a good job that paid well, we had nice things and a lovely home. I always remember the day he came home with a new TV, it was around the time the infrared remote control was introduced, I was well happy with that!

Disaster struck at Christmas time, Father Christmas had been and gone and so had Dad. I was 8 years old, I don’t remember much but I do remember the day he came back to tell me that he and Mom were separating, it was awful. Once he’d broken the news he collected some of his belongings and left. Mom was broken, she chased after him tears streaming from her face, kicking and screaming, the anger was so intense, so much so when she came back into the house I picked up Dad’s favourite beer tankard and threw it across the paved patio out of the back door, I dropped to my knees and sobbed like never before. It was just me and Mom from now on.

It wasn’t long before Mom met someone else, and there were 2 weddings to attend, My Dad was marrying his girlfriend and my Mom the guy that came from nowhere and swept her off her feet, well kind of! At 9 years old I remember the feeling of loss, I felt so alone, all around me I could see happiness, joy, belonging, laughter and there was me, alone with my bears in my room.

I don’t know why I felt so alone, it’s not like I was pushed out, I just didn’t feel like I belonged in either my Mom’s home or my Dad’s. They were all so happy with one another, I just felt like an inconvenience to them, Dad had his new wife and her daughter that he loved, Mom had her new husband that she so desperately wanted to keep happy, and there was just me drifting along.

Looking back now I think I was depressed, and withdrawn, I pulled myself away from people in order to create a wall of protection, that way I would never get hurt.

I found peace in books, I‘d shut myself away in my room, line up all of my teddies and read to them, my favourites were the scripts from Roal Dahl stories, I would act out all the different characters in lots of different voices, It was my way of escaping myself, I just hated being me.

I was around 12 or 13 and left at home alone a lot, I remember that I would walk around the house acting out my desired life. I would pretend I was a wife, the house was mine and I had a loving husband and 3 children, I’d speak aloud to them, anyone listening in would have thought I was crazy!

This escapism carried on throughout my life, books turned to other things I used to escape, people pleasing, taking drugs, drinking, lots of things that sent me down a path of darkness, discovering much more grief, sadness, anger, loss, and dismay.

Things did get better over time and I grew out of the drugs and drinking and finally at the age of 29 I met my husband and we had our children. It took a few more years and I met someone that totally changed my life, and showed me why things always seem to get better. Jesus.

We’d been going to church for a while and I’d had many encounters and deep moments of joy with Jesus but nothing in comparison to what I was about to experience at Cherish.

I walked through the doors of the arena and instantly felt the overwhelming presence of the most unexplainable love I’ve ever felt! The tears began to well up inside me and with each step forward another would roll down my face.

I found my seat and the music began to play and I felt God’s arms lift me up onto His lap, I felt the warmth of His arms wrapped tightly around me I was 8 years old again and He whispered into my ear:

“I love you, you are the most precious princess of the highest king, you are special and I will never let you go, all these years of misery are behind you, I will replace them with years of joy, I am taking you on a journey that will never end, take my hand and walk with me my precious child, I will make up for the years of the locusts, all they took from you I will replace double”

That weekend was one of the most amazing experiences I had with God, I knew after then life was going to be different, He was with me and He was never ever going to forsake me.

I’m pleased to say that my life now is still as eventful but a different type of life. Now, I have joy, peace and I don’t fear every circumstance, I don’t feel the need to escape anymore, I don’t have to please people to be accepted, I now have someone in my life that truly makes me feel I belong, He carries me, He comforts me, He whispers into my ear all of the wonderful things I can be, He makes me feel I can achieve anything in His strength and encourages me when I fall.

I also have the husband and 3 kids I used to imagine!

I pray that anyone reading this has a similar experience, with an open heart invite Him to show you all that you are. I watched a film at the weekend called Miracles from Heaven, if you’ve not seen it I recommend it, in it a lady says this “God gives us miracles each and every day, they are all around us, we just have to have the faith to notice them.” She’s right, I see my loving Father in everything I do now, I’m so thankful to Jesus for this wonderful gift, ask Him to show you too, he will never let you down.

Certainty


How often do we ask for advice?

My husband is constantly asking questions, it used to really bother me, he was always interrupting my programmes to ask something I deemed as irrelevant! Now though, it’s something I quite admire him for. He’s brave enough and confident enough to ask questions at all times, he’s courageous enough to say when he doesn’t understand something and as a result, he is always learning, growing in wisdom and knowledge at every opportunity.

I’m not quite sure what happened in my life to stop me from asking people their opinion or advice, there must be some reason I hold myself back but I’m unsure of it at present. This is an issue though, and God knows it.

Get all the advice and instruction you can. So you will be wise the rest of your life.

You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:20-21

So, I’m to take advice but ultimately if I get it wrong God will make sure what He planned WILL be revealed, right?

After hearing a sermon last year about using our natural gifting for the God’s glory I decided I would start planning lots of fundraising events for the church. I was so excited to get on and do things for Jesus I made a couple of early day mistakes.

The first mistake I made was to not pray about it,  was this the will of God?

The second was to not ask anyone else if they thought it would be a good idea, I ran in all my excitement to the leadership team and said:

“I’ve got all these plans to raise money and I’ve booked all these dates!” You can guess what happened next.

The first event came around and whatever could go wrong, did go wrong! The rain came lashing down, the roof started leaking, the electrics were at risk of blowing, people didn’t turn up, it was a complete shambles.

Needless to say, I repented for my hasty decisions and canceled all other events until I had the go-ahead from the bossman! Note to self, never, ever make a move without diligently praying first.

So my method for seeking God’s will for any plans now is:

1. Ask questions, seek advice, and see what others in the church or around you think.

2. Pray ask God to confirm that this is a desire He placed there, ask Him to show you scripture to support this.

3. Don’t rush things, be patient and worth for His go before moving.

Love & Blessings

Rach xx

Open Doors

How do we know when or if to walk through a door of opportunity?


How do we know when or if to walk through a door of opportunity?

When I first came to know Jesus I had many plans, mainly for myself I admit, I was going to build a huge marketing agency and earn lots of money, well it wasn’t quite that shallow but all the same I had BIG plans.

I was stopped completely in my tracks by the Lord and I entered a period of stillness, at the time I thought this was laziness, all of my creative faculties started to shut down and I found that I couldn’t think, all I could do was turn to the word God and discover.

I soon started to discover Who I was, Why I was here, and What I needed to do, BUT, I had no idea how that fitted into my previous plans. So there I was, still wandering in the wilderness with no direction, no inspiration and no creativity.

I wasn’t listening! God asked me to start to delve into my old plans and compare them to the discoveries I had made about WHO He said I was, WHY I was here and WHAT I was sent to do.

I soon discovered a pattern, a very unique pattern. It was unique because this pattern was displayed in all I had done my whole life, from a tender age of nursery school right up to this present point in my life. Those business plans I had were NOT about making myself money, they were about helping others to achieve their goals, from the customers I served to the staff I had planned to employ, each element was about other people and how I could help them to achieve what they wanted.

Proverbs 16:9, tells us that In our hearts we plan our course, but the Lord establishes the steps.

No wonder there was a pattern, it wasn’t the actual industry, job, or physical task that would be my calling, it’s what that physical thing would enable me to do in the name of Jesus. I was sent to encourage, inspire and teach people that through Christ we can achieve all things!

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.- Proverbs 37:4

Once I discovered this I soon started to recognise doors that began to open, not just in my business but at home, in my marriage, in my husband’s business, at church, with my friends, even this blog. I just had to be courageous enough to step out and say what I knew God wanted me to say or do what He wanted me to do.We just have to be bold enough and brave enough to walk through that open door.

Receiving this courage comes from renewing our minds with His Word, it’s there to give us confidence that in Him all things are possible. He tells us in John 10:10 I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. He doesn’t want us to be miserable!

1 Corinthians 16:9 because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me.

The words above from Paul tell us that it won’t be a smooth ride, but irrespective of the opposition he faced, he continued to move on, continued to walk with God and live out what he knew in confidence the Lord wanted him to do.

Since these revelations, I’ve been so much more comfortable in my life with making decisions, and when I make those that are aligned with God’s will he confirms I’m on the right track with His wonderful favour, I feel peaceful and joyful inside and I have a consistent smile on my face. Life is just easier with God’s word in it. Life is just easier with God in it!

My prayer today is that anyone that may be struggling with their calling in life, or recognising God’s open doors, that they feel the spirit of God fall upon them to inspire action.

I pray, Father that each and every person that is questioning a decision right now, that they feel your presence, they hear your voice and you give them courage and confidence in you and your word.

I ask you, Father, to reveal to them their calling in life, give them desires in their hearts that won’t let go until they act upon them, and when they do Lord I ask for fulfilment, comfort and peace to outpour into their spirit.

Lord I pray that they seek your will and glorify your name by living a life filled with abundant joy.

In Jesus name, Amen.

 

 

 

 

Walking in alignment with God.

Over the last six to seven months, many things have been manifesting in our family life, things that have been a real challenge, we had some big decisions to make, and if I’m honest I could have quite happily remained paralysed on occasions, stuck in the same old, the fear was just too much to face.

walking-inOver the last six to seven months, many things have been manifesting in our family life, things that have been a real challenge, we had some big decisions to make, and if I’m honest I could have quite happily remained paralysed on occasions, stuck in the same old, the fear was just too much to face.

Lucky for us we have a God that will deal with our fears head on when we seek His perfect Will for our lives.

Knowing there were changes to make we started to pray over the situations causing the challenges, we prayed long and hard for what seemed like forever! There were times I thought God wasn’t listening, there were times I thought He didn’t like me much, there were many moments I prayed with what my mom might call attitude, you know the stance – when your arms are folded, your bottom lip is sticking out and you have that tone in voice, the tone that says, I know you don’t want to answer my prayer and I know it’s for my own good but all the same I’m asking anyway, with an eye roll and a big TUT at the end?!

Despite sometimes wanting to give up we continued.

After around 5 months, we started to get answers, albeit they weren’t the ones we thought we would get. These answers were going to push us out of our comfort zone and were to have us confront fears we had carried with us most of our lives. In actual fact these answers had been there for some time, we just didn’t think they were from God, they seemed to make perfect sense but we thought they were of the flesh not of God. He was showing us that we had done the right thing and He wanted the best for us, He loved us and wanted us to flourish for the glory of His Kingdom.

I thought that a lot of the complications we had were a result of our own flesh and bad attitude, I thought that I had a hardened heart and it was my actions causing all of this discomfort. As a result, I was asking God to help me to change, when in actual fact what God wanted to do was to change the situation for us. Although this wasn’t going to be easy. It meant we had to do some things that would cause some discomfort, face our fears and be courageous.

One of the problems I’ve always had is thinking badly of myself, always blaming myself for things that go wrong, never really giving myself a break. Thankfully God doesn’t want that, he wants us to love ourselves just as he loves us. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, in His image, for a very unique purpose to bring glory to His Kingdom. This, in turn, gives us the ability to love others with His wonderful love and encouragement, and when we really seek His will for our lives He uncovers some miraculous things for our future, things we least expect – But, we have to action them.

Even though this time was tough and I could have quite easily turned my back on God, buried my head in the sand and left myself wide open for the enemy to take control, I chose to take back His territory and declare that in Jesus name I would walk on – No matter what!

Things can be hard, but as long as we continue to lean on our Father and rely not upon our own understanding all things will come together for good, no matter how awful it may seem we must trust him in all we do.

I’m very happy to report that is all now behind us and these situations are now testimonies we can use to encourage others as well as ourselves, we can hold on to them for the rest of our days and remind ourselves when struggles arise that He came through and took control, showed us what to do, and in our obedience, He has richly blessed us with many things to confirm we did the right thing.

Thank you, Lord, for your wonderful patience and understanding, Father, thank you, that despite our not listening, You always persevere and show us in your loving gentle way that all will be ok. Thank you, for always being there, and preparing the way for us despite our shortcomings and our disobedience, Lord thank you, for always waiting with your arms wide open for us to arrive, no matter how long that may take. In Jesus name, I pray that we will forever be aligned to your perfect will. Amen.

Who am I?

Reading my bible today I started to meditate on this verse and what it means to me.

Who am I? Why do I do the things I do?

Some might say, it’s because I inherited genes from my family that made me that way. I look like my mom, I have her eyes, nose and facial features. I’m built like my Dad I have his long legs, short body and broad shoulders, so what I do and who I am must be down to them, right?

Wrong!

Our loving Heavenly Father, our wonderful creator, knitted each and every one of us together in our mother’s womb, he gave us each and every strand of DNA with its own unique code, making each and every one of us different in every single way.

I may have picked up a belief system from my Mom and Dad, BUT, God gave me a very unique set of gifts that enable me to change those habits manifested in me from birth.

The fact is God planned for me to find my own way, to discover His word, dive in and discover for myself exactly who I am. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s amazing!

The words that were or are spoken over me by man DO NOT make me who I am, the words were spoken to me by my all loving, all knowing creator DO make me who I am.

Our creator made us with the intention of us being co-creators here on earth, to discover our purpose and co-create a life of peace, joy and abundance…. with His blessing!
WOW!

Those desires in your heart are meant to be there, they aren’t a dream you will never live, they are a creation that’s within waiting to get out.

I want to encourage you today, go out there, hold your head up high and know that you are unique, as unique as each and every star in the sky, shine your light and do what you believe you have been placed here to do, and give glory to God for his wonderful creation.

Daddy Can You Hear Me?

When I came to know Jesus, I journaled a lot and reflected on my life up to that point, I wondered where He had been and saw all the times He was calling me. I wrote this poem to kind of summarise my conclusion.

Daddy, can you hear me?

I call out, Can you hear my shout?

Lift me up on to your lap,

Free me from this trap!

 

Wrap Your arms tightly round,

I want to hear Your sound.

I want to please,

live a lifetime of ease,

Do all that you ask.

 

 “I can’t hear you!”

 

I do what I want,

No care or revere, 

Where are you? 

Are you even here?!

 

Mom and Dad, they were good,

I’m always in the way,

Making things difficult,

and going astray.

 

On a long nasty road,

addiction and theft,

Bullying, Emotion,

Self-sabotage and destruction!

 

“Can you hear me?!”

 

Daddy, you spoke! If only to provoke, the spirit inside of me.

Loving on those in a vulnerable state,

Finally, a job I didn’t hate,

You blessed me.


You poured out your blessing,

A brand-new beginning,

A home filled with love,

They went beyond and above,

A Family!

“I can see you!”

I Destroyed it again,

Evil prevailed.

I turned the wrong way,

To darkness…dismay!

 

Cold and alone,

in a pool of bile,

feeling helpless and vile,

I drank the first thing I could reach,

it was bleach.

Where are you?”

 

You saved me again but I still felt this pain.


“Can you hear me?”

I found love in this man,

his soul just as lost,

We lived together with his son but at what cost?

Drinking and violence,

I couldn’t cope with the silence,

Your strength came upon me to walk away.

 

You gave me independence,

my own home and recompense,

all those dark years washed away.

 

Freedom and fun,

I found another one,

he was perfect and sweet.

It ended too soon,

Left just me, it wasn’t to be.

“Can you hear me?

Along came another as lost as me,

a destructive, weak soul

with no life or goal,

drinking and sadness,

which turned into madness.

 

“Where are you? Help me!”


Your goodness shone through,

Strength came and I flew,

Into a life of success and joy!

A soul mate you sent,

To strengthen each other.

You were there all along,

Perfectly undercover.

 

When You saw fit,

You gave us a gift,

A beautiful baby boy.

A few months went by,

And now it was time,

To add to our family again.

 

A time of reflection,

And seeking perfection,

We discovered Your perfect love.

We always did wonder,

Who created the thunder,

and the storms of life that we had seen.

 

You lifted me up,

On to your lap,

Untangled the trap,

And showed me.

 

The purpose you gave,

Ridden of shame,

No longer slaves,

Perfectly made,

You showed us we could,

A love so perfect and good,

Freed from fear with a God to revere!

 

YOU HEARD ME!